I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I haven't been good and read anything long for an age. I can't say how distracting it is, living in a nice new house (well, at least new to me) on a lake. There was nothing to do but read in that depressing apartment.I will try to do better. It's been a long week.
But! All that said, this book is FANTASTIC. Roald Dahl is so wonderful I want to scream. The cover reads, "The premier storyteller of our time brings his own brand of wicked humor to six favorite fairy tales." And it's spot on. Snow White pinching the magic mirror to give to the dwarves (ex-jockeys) and using it to make bets on horse races and become millionaires. I mean! Or take the opening of Cinderella, for example:
I guess you think you know this story.
You don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
Just to keep the children happy.
And Goldilocks and the Three Bears:
This famous little wicked tale
Should never have been put on sale.
It is a mystery to me
Why loving parents cannot see
That this is actually a book
About a brazen little crook.
Or the end of Red Riding Hood:
The smart girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature's head
and bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, 'Hello, and do please note
'My lovely furry WOLFSKIN COAT.'
CONCLUSION: Roald Dahl rules the world. Though, I already knew this.